I can’t stand silence
because I’ve placed all reliance
for peace in things
that give me wings
to fly away and escape the chaos inside.
And so I hide.
I can’t stand looking within
simply seeing all the sin
having to deal with my demons;
realizing no amount of reason
can stop this slippery slide.
And so I hide.
The impure thoughts stir and simmer
giving me a glimmer
of the sorry state I’ve become
Hoping simply to be numb
I don’t act, hoping shame will subside.
And so I hide.
Worst of all is the God above,
ever patient in His unending love,
waiting for me to open my eyes,
to see through the guise
and realize that to myself I have lied.
And so I hide.
This false solution I’ve procured
shows I haven’t matured
as much as I like to claim
so now I live in shame
still running from silence worldwide.
And so I hide.
What will it take to make me step into light,
stop resisting my Father’s gentle plight,
working to make me whole
continuously cleansing my soul.
Him I don’t want to cast aside.
And yet I hide? [Why do I hide?]
This separation has become too much to bear;
this burden I have to share
with the one who carried
the sins of the whole world, then buried
after taking His suffering in stride.
And still I hide.
He embraced so much pain,
without a single thought of selfish gain,
Yet I run at the slightest hitch in
my plans, to my chagrin.
I want to change; I want to abide
I don’t want to hide.
Abide in me, Jesus said,
so why do I choose distractions instead?
Relying on my own strength always fails,
which is exactly why Jesus took the nails.
He is where sin and grace collide.
I don’t want to hide.
I’m sorry Jesus for being so fidgety
help me experience the liberty
and freedom you offer so I won’t falter.
Let me approach and kneel before the altar.
Because of Your grace I won’t be denied.
I will not hide.
I come out of the dark
leaving behind any question mark
as to where my loyalties lie.
Lord, bring me to a place where I would rather die
than live without you by my side.
I. Will. Not. Hide.
Seeking to end my spiritual drought,
You have sought me out
as if we had played
hide and seek because I never stayed
This my confession to you I confide,
But I will no longer hide.
12/04/14
